Sucu's Poetry

Hopefully first of many...

I lie still in the naked spaces of your gaze
minutes, hours, days
I search in your eyes to find me
Dripping from you as honey on an oak tree
And I see I'm no longer barren
As love cracks away the amber
Was it of marriage I sought or in children to raise
Or in wisdom that I'm raptured from the maze
It's so lonely to know that I'm yours
Or I'm not yours
God bless those scooter days and treats
When at last our lost souls meet

Extremes in Niceties

Yesterday, you did one of the sweetest things I've ever known. You had to work late, so you ordered one of my favorites, hamachi don, intending to save it thinking that we'd be able to meet soon thereafter and share for dinner. But you were waylaid by absurdities at work, and by the time you were able to meet me, it was more than 3 hours later. You even went so far as to look up to see how long sushi can keep with out being refrigerated before it gets risky to eat. You were hungry to be sure, but more importantly, you wanted to share with me and take care of me.

After reading online that sushi is not safe to eat after it's been at room temperature for more than 30 minutes, you were so saddened. First because you wanted to take care of me, and your hunger besides. Then again because it was a waste of food. I kept saying that you had no idea you were going to be working as late as you did.

So while driving to Closter, we stop by a diner that you think I'll like. It's closed. Damn.

Then we drive to a 24-hour supermarket. It's already 12:30 am. We're both starving and exhausted, and neither of us want to spend too much to get a late night meal. But in our altered states, we end up spending over 45 minutes mulling over healthy options vs. comfort food. Then you want to be able to make me breakfast so we run back and forth between aisles. And I remind you that you said you needed saline solution. We finally make our way to the cashier, and discover that we've grabbed over $45 worth of groceries and sundries. Too much! Even though the clerk is clearly annoyed, she is gracious and helps us take away some things that were frivolous luxuries.

When we finally get home, it's already 1:30 am. We're both beyond exhaustion so decide to forego dinner altogether. I've been having trouble breathing all day so I take some Primatene tablets, and do a puff of the inhaler. and we get to bed. Except I can't fall asleep because I keep being awakened by racks of dry coughing fits. Then I'm wheezing. Then choking. Finally, you get me to sit up and soothe my nerves by holding me and stroking my arms. I'm sure it's already way past 3 am at this point. I feel so guilty I say I"ll go to sleep in the living room, and you say "no, you're staying right here with me. Relax and try to calm your lungs."

After what feels like hours and hours or turning, coughing, wheezing, heaving, and choking, all of your efforts finally take hold, and I begin to breathe easier, and immediately pass into unconsciousness until I wake up to you saying it's already 8:15 am. I panic and jump in the shower. You're delayed getting in and I realize when I step out that it's because you got breakfast started with the veggie burger, eggs and english muffins, each heating up in their respective toaster or microwave. The coffee is already done brewing. We sit down when you're done with your shaving and grooming to a calm and soothing breakfast of veggie burger on english muffins with a poached egg, with just a dollop of pesto sauce.

How could I ever doubt your love and devotion.

Everlasting Gobstopper

My heart had been stone cold
Having been ill treated too oft
And without knowing
I had fallen into a slumber

Now I have been awakened
By your gaze and touch
My heart beating again
Yet as never before

I see all of you
As you were, are
As you are still to be
My heart beats with certainty
As I will always desire you

I fear this is a dream
That I will awake to find
A cold and gray world
Without my Everlasting Gobstopper

I long for the day
When you will say
That this is not a dream
That this is our life

Boulders

Can’t see the top
Wall of earth looming overhead
Against clear blue skies
The color of Caribbean waters

Cold, jagged edges stab at the sky
As I reach up to the next hold
I look up, scanning the jagged edges
Hoping to find some rest
Seeing only more hard cold surface

I pray sobbingly for an end
I search desperately for answers
But all I see is granite and stone

Each time I think
I glimpse the summit
I realize instead that
It's yet another chasm
Which I must conquer

The House That Touches the Sky

As you walk in, I see
The ceiling rise up
Above our heads

I look up to find
The roof, arching its back
Toward the heavens

Can you see this?
Or is it just my eyes,
Playing tricks on me?

I tilt my head back again
Expecting to find
Wooden beams stretching
Their mahogany arms
Up and away

But instead, I see that
Spotless blue that
The sky becomes on that
Perfect Day

White Waters

Rapids carrying me downstream
Can’t catch my breath
The white foams push
Swirling loudly around me

Through the fog in my eyes
I search desperately for a glimpse
Of rocks on the riverbanks
But they elude my sight

Gasping again, looking for sunlight
Cold fingers tug at my legs
Tossed around like an empty shell
My lungs drown in icicles

Then just as I surrender
To the icy slumber that is certain
Ready for sudden peace
The sun warms me
I am afloat, embraced by silence

Les Yeux Que J'aime

As I stand here before you
I find myself lost
For what feels like eternity
Yet is merely an instance

As I sit here before you
I look to lose myself
Hoping to find dark pools
That I can lose myself in

As I lay here before you
I know I am found again
Knowing that I will forever be
Yours